


let's pretend you'll still be there (at the end)

by sroka (ecubed)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Depression, Domesticity, Established Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Established Relationship, Fluff, It's not what you think, M/M, Not Famous, One Shot, but it's exactly what you think, harry isn't, i'm as confused as you are, larry stylinson - Freeform, louis' sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 07:36:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecubed/pseuds/sroka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn might think it's unhealthy, the way Louis holes himself up in his flat, but here he has Harry, and that's all he'll ever need.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's pretend you'll still be there (at the end)

**Author's Note:**

> Um, so basically this is the beginning of a one-shot that I've been thinking about for a very long time. The only problem is, that I've convinced myself that I have as much writing skill as a non-english speaking baby chimp (not even an adult chimp), and I'm having a really hard time knocking this thing out - mostly because I'm so intimidated by all the people here who can actually write.  
> So, I'd love for you to read this. Kudo, comment if you like it or if you're interested in finding out what is actually going on etc etc  
> I just need a bit of encouragement (because I really like this fic idea, despite thinking I don't have the skill to do it justice)
> 
> I respond well to nice comments, as well as angry yelling.

“Thanks for meeting me,” Liam says, taking a sip of coffee. “I didn’t think you would, to be quite honest.”

Louis can’t help but roll his eyes in exasperation. “We’re still friends, Liam. Nothing’s changed there.”

Liam doesn’t look convinced, but he lets it go (it’s one of Liam’s many remarkable qualities).

He shifts uncomfortably under Louis’ gaze, and Louis would almost find it funny to see the usually self-possessed Liam Payne, so awkward and unsure, but the truth is that he rarely finds anything funny these days.

Louis taps his fingers against the table, waiting patiently for Liam to speak.  
He may have failed his A-levels the first time around, but he isn’t stupid, not entirely. He knows that Liam didn’t ring him up just so they could discuss the weather, or the latest Man U match. He knows how their group dynamic works, knows that Liam is the one with all the tact – less likely to put his foot in his mouth than Niall, so when he saw Liam’s name flashing on the screen of his phone, he knew exactly what he was getting into.  
He knows that he’s being checked up on and that Liam has been sent in to handle the Louis- situation, so it’s just a matter of waiting for Liam to finally get to it.

 

Liam clears his throat, and flashes Louis a sympathetic smile. “You look -” 

Liam pauses, eyes flitting over Louis’ face, giving him the critical once-over, and Louis can almost hear the cogs in his brain, whirring furiously.  
  


Louis holds his breath – he knows he looks terrible. There are hollows beneath his eyes, as deep as canyons, he hasn’t shaved in days and his hair is on the wrong side of artfully tousled. The grey hoodie he picked up off the living room floor hangs off him – it’s rumpled and with Liam’s eyes fixed on him, Louis is all too aware of the stain by the collar (it’s probably tomato sauce from last night’s pizza, but he can’t be entirely sure – it might also be the Indian he had last week). Basically, he’s a mess.

 

“- tired,” Liam finishes and Louis can finally breathe. “You look tired, Lou.”  
  


The corner of Louis’ mouth twitches - it could have been a whole lot worse. So yeah, he’s pretty happy with tired.  
  


“Always with the compliments,” he jokes.

Liam doesn’t smile. “So, how have you been?” he asks.

Louis blinks.

He hates this. It’s an innocent question but Louis can feel the undercurrent of worry lacing the words, and it makes his breath catch.

He wants to scream.

He doesn’t.  
“I’ve been fine I guess,” he says instead.

 

Liam eyes him skeptically. His mouth stays closed but his eyebrows speak. “Really?” they seem to say. “You expect us to believe that?”

Louis huffs (fuck Liam and his expressive eyebrows) “Well, okay – maybe I’m not _fine_ – but I’m as good as can be expected, given everything.”

It’s a lie and the words are heavy on his tongue – he’s nowhere near fine, doesn’t think that ‘fine’ will even be an option anytime soon. Maybe ever. But he doesn’t want Liam to worry, doesn’t want anyone to worry. What good would it do?

Liam looks thoughtful. “I think you’re lying,” he says simply, as he fiddles with his napkin.  
  


Louis’ fingers tighten around the mug of tea in his hands. He puts it down forcefully, ignoring the way the tea sloshes over the rim, spilling over his hands. He glares at Liam. “Then why bother asking me about it?” he snaps.

 

Liam looks down at his coffee and sighs. “I don’t know. I guess I was hoping that you’d trust me enough to be honest.”   
  


The words aren’t accusatory, but Louis bristles at them anyway. Liam looks up again, catches Louis’ eye, and he looks so earnest, that Louis has to look away. 

“We’re all so worried about you – and you keep avoiding us. What’re we supposed to think?”

“I’m not avoiding anyone,” he bites back through clenched teeth. “I’m here, aren’t I?”  
  
“This hardly counts,” Liam says dismissively. “When was the last time you even spoke to Zayn,” he challenges. “Don’t you think he’d like to know what his best friend has been up to these past few weeks?”  
  
Guilt settles over him, and fuck, he doesn’t have to deal with this right now. “I’ve been busy, alright?”  
  


It comes out harsher than he’d intended, angrier and more defensive, and he hates the flicker of hurt that crosses Liam’s face at his words. He sighs. “I’m sorry, ok? It’s just – it’s the end of semester, you know? Papers to grade, finals to write, young minds to shape.”

 Liam gives him a weak smile. “We’re all here for you. You know that right?”

“I know.” He takes in a shaky breath and slumps down into his seat. “Of course I know that.”

 

“We’ve missed you,” Liam tells him gently and suddenly it’s as though all the fight has left him, and he’s so tired. So tired of everything.

“I’ve missed you too.”  
And he has. Really. He loves Zayn and Niall and Liam, but it’s just so hard to make the time, when all he wants to do is stay at home, holed up with his boy.

“It’s not the same without you and Harry there.”

 There’s an ache building deep within skull. He drops his head into his hands, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Yeah,” he says. Bursts of colour erupt behind his eyelids.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

  
Louis hesitates. “Can we talk about something else?” _Something normal._ “Just – tell me about Sophia. Or Zayn’s new lizard. Anything.” 

It comes out sounding a lot more desperate than he’d meant it to, and Liam looks more concerned than Louis would like, but he just nods and launches into an animated retelling of how he’d finally met Sophia’s parents over Christmas.

Louis has never been more grateful for Liam’s remarkable ability to take a hint.

 

***

 

An hour later, they’re standing on the pavement outside the café, Louis’ chin tucked into the crook of Liam’s neck.  
  


“Don’t be a stranger,” Liam says as he pulls away, loosening his grip on Louis’ shoulders.  
  


“Don’t abuse clichés,” Louis advises him, his expression mock stern. He feels light and airy when a small grin creeps across Liam’s face.  
  


“I’m serious!”

“Yeah. Alright.” Louis smiles. He pulls his hood up over his head and shivers violently, the chill wind slicing through the thin material of his jumper. “Fuck, it’s cold,” he whines, wrapping his arms tightly around himself, trying to stave off the cold.

Liam frowns. “Where’s your car parked?”  
  


“Not too far from here,” he lies easily.  
  


“Want me to give you a ride?” Liam asks. “It’s bordering on Arctic out here.”  
  


Louis freezes, his hands tremble and it has nothing to do with the weather. He shakes his head, “I’ll manage.”  
  


“You sure? I could drop you off by your car - ”  
  


“I’ll be fine,” he says firmly, cutting Liam off. “It’s not far. _Really_.”

There’s a beat of silence, stretching awkwardly between them. Louis shifts his weight from one foot to the other, bouncing on the ball of his feet in an attempt to keep warm (it isn’t working).

Liam clears his throat, hesitates, “It’s been hard for all of us, you know.”

Louis thrusts his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie and stares down at the pavement. There’s gum stuck to the concrete, dirty and grey, and he toes absently at it with the edge of his sneaker. “It’s not really the same though,” he mutters, and he waits for Liam to disagree – to tell him that they all understand, and that he’s a selfish prick for making out that he’s the only one who’s having a hard time dealing with all of it, but Liam just bobs his head.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says softly.

Louis nods, his throat suddenly tight. “Well- um- I’d better get going.” He gestures vaguely in the direction of the car park across the street. “Car’s down that way.”

Liam gives him an encouraging smile and takes a couple of steps backwards, to where his car is parked by the side of the road. 

“Take care, ok?” he says, as he slips into the driver’s seat of his beaten-up Volvo. He starts the car, engine roaring to life, gives Louis a quick wave, and then he’s gone, leaving Louis to begin the hour-long trudge back to the flat.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me you've read worse and that it's not tragic :( 
> 
> Or I have an even beta idea (see what I did there?), if anyone would like to beta this soul-sucking monstrosity (jk it'll be 7-10k max), that'd be appreciated.
> 
> Follow for more terrible puns and bad writing: .tumblr.com


End file.
